So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
