I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
