dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
