We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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