Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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