I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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