I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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