is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
