We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
