this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
