Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
