Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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