are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Its about making memories worth repressing
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
