it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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