she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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