you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
