Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
