Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
