i already hear my dad disowning me
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
