its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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