I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you win again, gameday.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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