I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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