i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
