physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
