This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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