You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
