so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
