the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
