at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
