but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
