you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
