I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
