I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
