so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
