i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
