smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
another moral hangover. fuck.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
