Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
