I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
