mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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