Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
