you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
