First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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