Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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