Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
