Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
