me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
