Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
