He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
When did angry sex become our thing?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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