Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
