Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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